


Their Struggle

by WildwingSuz



Series: Struggles [3]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, MSR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:35:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9207461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildwingSuz/pseuds/WildwingSuz
Summary: The 3rd and final Struggle story, A/U after Babylon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This one turned out to be my struggle.  I knew what I wanted to say in this story, but wasn’t sure I could get it all in.  My wonderful beta reader Mimic helped me lay out the different parts, and gave me great ideas to bring it all together.  And in the end, it was the Cloud Atlas soundtrack which helped me write the emotional finale.
> 
>  
> 
> And all I have to say is that if Chris Carter can roll things back, so can I.

Thanks again Mimic; we are quite the team, aren’t we?

 

 **Their Struggle**  
Rated NC-17  
Suzanne L. Feld

 

 

After a nice lunch at the five-star hotel restaurant we went up to the room without discussion.  Though I had wanted to go up and change before eating, Mulder was too hungry to wait.  So, we had our meal in our bathing suits, me in my long black cover-up and pink and black pool shoes, Mulder with a plain grey t-shirt and navy blue Crocs.  Both of us sat on towels since we were still damp after our swim.

 

The maitre’d hadn’t argued when we walked up; he took one look at us and simply led us to a secluded booth along the side of the room.  Whether it was our bearing or audacity we had no idea, nor cared.  It probably helped that there wasn’t much of a lunch crowd even though it was almost noon.

 

We hadn’t talked about anything serious during lunch, and were much more relaxed now that the air was cleared between us.  Mulder was in a better mood and both charming and thoughtful in ways that he hadn’t been for years.  He flirted shamelessly with me, but made it clear that he didn’t expect anything in return. He held my chair for me, teased me about how I should be wearing a bikini instead of the maillot, and made me feel like the most loved, desired woman in the world.  I hadn’t felt this way in so long it was like coming home; I missed it.  For the first time in what seemed like forever I felt like he needed and wanted me as a woman again, not just his old partner.

 

Once upstairs, I showered and changed into the comfortable dark blue slacks and cream sweater I had pulled out earlier to wear.  While Mulder was taking his turn in the shower, I flopped on my bed and picked up the remote, turning on the TV from lack of anything better to do.  I still wanted that nap but my mind was too active to sleep at the moment, running Mulder’s words from the hot tub over and over.  When we’d had the brief discussion about William outside the hospital while investigating the Founder’s Mutation case, I was stung by his cavalier attitude considering what he’d said to me a year ago.  Now I understood that he’d been keeping our personal problems away from work, which was how it should be.

 

But now that we’d had it out, where were we going? I wondered, idly watching an old, comfortably familiar episode of M*A*S*H*.  I wasn’t ready to give up my independence and live with him again, which I knew he wanted even before he said it.  I still desired him, I had for so many years, but I was not going to let my hormones rule me.  I fully expected him to try something while we shared this room and was braced to gently but firmly rebuff him until I had more time to think it over.

 

Mulder stepped out of the bathroom wearing a pair of comfortable-looking jeans, not too tight but not loose, either.  They were zipped but not snapped, and he carried a shirt in one hand as he walked across the room to his suitcase, his wet hair neatly combed.  Good God, but it was hard to stick to my resolve when his chest was bare.  It was all I could do not to get up and run my hands down the scattering of dark hair over his pectorals, caress those broad shoulders, feel the strength in his— _STOP Dana!_

 

“So what’s on the agenda for today, Scully?” he asked, stuffing the grey t-shirt in his white plastic dirty clothes bag and then digging around in the luggage. 

 

“Well, there’s the wake at my Aunt Olive’s house in Norwalk at six. I’d rather not go but since neither Charlie nor Bill could make it, I have to.” I sighed, turning down the volume on Hawkeye and B.J. as they were chased across the screen by a furious Hot Lips.  “And since I asked that they not come when I released Mom’s ashes they’ll never let me forget it if I don’t show up.”

 

“Well, you won’t be alone,” Mulder said, pulling a pair of black socks out.  “How should I dress?”

 

“This is an Irish wake, it’ll be going on all night and probably into tomorrow.  Anything that you don’t mind getting vomit on.”

 

“Seriously?” He looked delighted.  “Are you going to get shitfaced, Scully?”

 

I snorted.  “No, and we’re leaving as soon as the howling starts,” I said firmly.  I wasn’t sure how bad it would be, but I’d heard stories about my mom’s family.  If they were half as true as presented, I wasn’t going to want to stay long.

 

“This’ll be a new one for me,” Mulder said, sitting sideways on the bed to pull on his socks.  “I’ve sat Shiva for the full seven days, but never been to a howling Irish wake.”

 

My eyes were glued to the muscles in his sides and back, watching them contract and flex.  _Look but no touching,_ I told myself firmly.  “Who was it for?”

 

“My father’s brother, my Uncle David.  When I was eight.  Though technically I’m not Jewish because my mother isn’t, he thought I should be familiar with the traditions.”

 

“I never knew that,” I said drowsily, snuggling down further on the bed and flipping the spread over me.  Finally, I was getting sleepy.  I yawned, and let my eyes close.  “If I’m not up by four will you wake me, Mulder?”

 

“You know it, Scully.  Have a nice nap.”

 

*          *          *

 

I could have sat there and watched Scully sleep for hours.  I had done that on several occasions during the time we’d been on the run and when we’d lived together.  In fact, the very first night we spent on the road after escaping the base she’d fallen asleep in my arms and I lay awake most of the night looking at her, trying to convince myself that yes, she really was there with me.

 

It was difficult not to climb on the bed with her, curl around her slender body like I loved to.  I’m a cuddler and while it bothered her at first, eventually she’d gotten used to me holding her in my sleep.  It was tough to resist when we were in the same room together.

 

Patience, I counseled myself.  For once in my goddamned life, suffering through the wait was going to be worth it.  I didn't dare make a move on Scully this time until she came to me like she had the very first time we made love all those years ago. Climbing naked into my bed had been an obvious green light. If I didn't wait until she made it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wanted me again, I could lose her for good.

 

But that didn’t mean I was going to sit back passively.  I was already putting my romantic plans into action.  I hadn’t had time to think of much, but over lunch at least I paid her close attention, flattered and gently teased her, and made sure not to talk about work.  I asked questions about her mother and family and growing up, and made the meal my treat. 

 

God, how I missed her sexually.  Wanted her with a deep, bottomless yearning that I hadn’t felt since I’d been locked up on the army base all those years ago.  We both seemed to have strong libidos, which I suspected was likely due to seven years of foreplay.  It had been rare that we didn’t make love several times a week after we’d gone on the run, and frequently more often.  I didn’t let her periods stop me, either.  She said she didn’t like the mess but it never took a lot of foreplay to get her going, that much was for sure.  

 

I now found myself in the same situation that I had been in in the hot tub, with no help for my burgeoning erection.  Had I thought of it I could have taken care of myself in the shower, but it hadn’t occurred to me since I’d calmed down by then.  I sighed and laid back on the bed, crossing my arms beneath my head, not glancing over at Scully or I knew I’d make myself worse. 

 

Next thing I knew, I awakened to Scully cursing in a dark room.  The light flipped on and the first thing I saw was her angry blue eyes glaring at me.  “Thanks a lot, Mulder, we’re very, very late now,” she snapped. 

 

I glanced over at the clock and groaned even as I got up.  It was quarter ‘til six.  “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, Scully, sorry about that.  But didn’t you say it’s going on all night?”

 

“Yeah, and I wanted to be in and out before the serious drinking and wailing got started,” she grumbled, shoving her stockinged feet into a pair of medium-heeled shoes.  “God only knows what it’ll be like by the time we get there.”

 

Though she was clearly annoyed, I couldn’t wait to find out.

 

*          *          *

 

Since we’d slept all afternoon neither of us was the least bit sleepy when we got back to the hotel at nearly two a.m.  We’d nibbled enough at the wake that we weren’t hungry, though Mulder did insist on getting a six-pack on the way back as we hadn’t drunk much at the wake.

 

“What time are we flying back tomorrow?” Mulder asked, sitting at the desk with his computer, an open bottle of Corona on the desk beside it. 

 

“Luckily, not until three,” I said.  I was comfortably propped on the bed with my laptop on my knees, idly checking my personal email and trying to ignore work until we got back.  “God, I never thought we’d get out of there.”

 

He laughed out loud, a sound I was so happy to hear.  Neither of us laughed enough these days, and I loved his true, unbound, happy laugh.  “That’s the understatement of the year.  I thought your one aunt was going to attach herself to us so we wouldn’t leave.”

 

“Yeah, she’d make quite the sea anchor.  If she complained to me one more time about my hair color I was going to pop her one and get the fighting started right then and there.”

 

He grinned over at me, making my heart constrict in my chest.  How in God’s name did this man only get sexier and better-looking as he got older?  And we still had that… magnetism… whatever… we’d had since the moment we met; I could feel it drawing us together. 

 

“She didn’t like that you lightened your hair?”

 

“Or the cut,” I said, looking at my screen.  “The last time I saw her was for Christmas 2007, and she remembered.  Do you have any idea how much I lay out to get it styled like this at a very expensive salon?”

 

“Well, however much it is, I’m afraid to say, it’s too much.  If you don’t mind me being honest, Scully, it’s not your best look.  I liked it much better when it was longer and more red.  Like when you first started working at Sorrows.”

 

I stared over at him wide-eyed, shocked.  “Are you telling me that you don’t like my hair, Mulder?”

 

His mouth quirked wryly and he shrugged one shoulder, the other arm cocked over the back of the office chair.  “We agreed a long time ago, Scully, to be honest with each other.  So, I--I am.”

 

I was nonplussed and annoyed.  “Really.”  I wanted to say something derogatory to him but couldn’t think of a thing at the moment.  Dammit.

 

“Really.  But other than that… damn, Scully.  You’re more beautiful now than I’ve ever seen you; you age like fine wine.  Every time I think you can’t be more lovely, you are.”

 

I was touched but didn’t show it and raised a brow over at him.  “Except for my hair.”

 

“Except for your hair.  And do tell… the carpet doesn’t match the drapes now, does it?”

 

“Mulder!”  I got up off the bed, closing and setting my computer to the side and standing, hands on hips, to glare at him.  “How dare you —“

 

He burst out into rollicking laughter, turning away from his laptop and bending over his knees.  “Omigod, Scully, your _face!”_ he howled, slapping the side of his leg. 

 

I raised a brow at him.  Barely moving, I reached back and found one of the thick, fluffy pillows I’d been laying back on, measuring distance with my eyes.  I didn’t want to hit his computer or beer bottle but justice was going to be swift. 

 

It was nothing more than luck that we didn’t wreck the room with our rollicking pillow-fight, though his fast reflexes did just barely save a lamp and my beer bottle, luckily mostly empty, did get knocked onto the floor.  When we both gave up, we were sitting side-by-side on the floor at the foot of his bed, laughing and out of breath.  “I can’t remember the last time I had that much fun,” I gasped, hugging a pillow to my chest.  I had just snatched it away from Mulder before he bonked me over the head with a different one that he pulled out from behind his back, and we’d both collapsed, laughing so hard we could barely breathe. 

 

Usually a pillow-fight had been the precursor to lovemaking, and once he’d even swatted my butt with a pillow while I was on my hands and knees waiting for him to enter me.  For once I didn’t push the memory away, but enjoyed remembering it even if it wasn’t to happen again—at least not right now. 

 

“Me too, Scully.  I really miss you just being around the house with me.  I never thought I’d be lonely living alone, I did for so many years, but that house isn’t a home without you in it anymore,” he said, then ducked his head.  “Sorry, didn’t mean to throw that out there.”

 

I shrugged, though my heart was racing.  “It’s okay.  I miss you too.  But let’s table it for the time being.”

 

He nodded, then raised his head and smiled at me, though I could see the pain and sadness in his shadowed hazel eyes.  “What d’ya say to another beer?”

 

*          *          *

 

The Babylon case, working with a different agent than Scully, made me realize just how much I really missed her, and I could only hope that she felt the same way when working with Miller.  I found Agent Einstein almost a caricature of her, more rigid and with no apparent sense of humor.  I challenged her much like Scully had always challenged me and, while I enjoyed the experience, I much preferred my usual partner, sex or not.

 

Speaking of, it was about killing me to keep holding myself back.  There were many times I nearly grabbed Scully and pinned her up against a wall, which reminded me a lot of the old days of constant sexual tension before we’d slept together.  On the other hand, I could see that she was responding to my courtship, which was about all I could think to call it.  I had never romanced or dated her, though I’d always been careful to show her how much she meant to me while we were on the run.  When had I forgotten that?  I wasn’t sure, but I’d rediscovered it with a vengeance. 

 

I was enjoying the challenge, I had to admit.  I was certain I could break through her re-erected walls and even if she wasn’t ready to come home yet, I’d settle for getting her in bed and work on the rest.  I was sure that once I made love to her I could convince her to come back, and then my life would be complete again.  I knew I was up to it, and there wasn’t much more I relished in life other than having a purpose again.

 

When she came to the house unannounced the afternoon after we solved the case I was glad to see her, and even more so when she kept hold of my hand while we walked along the driveway.  We talked like in the old days, about everything and nothing, our minds in sync and yet challenging each other.  We plumbed the depths of love and hate, and of human nature which never changes at its core. Almost as a coda to our conversation, it was like the heavens blessed our coming together once again with a flourish—had I believed in anything like that.

 

It was so comfortable that, when I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, I could easily pretend that we were twenty years younger and still unscarred, not yet disillusioned and cynical.  Holding Scully’s hands, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face and the sound of celestial trumpets, I felt hope returning. 

 

Without thinking about it I drew Scully to me and enclosed her in a hug, reveling in the feel of her soft, taut body against mine after so long, her arms around me in return.  As we moved away from each other I leaned down to kiss her without consciously thinking about it.  It wasn’t until our lips were touching that I realized when and where I was, and began to draw back.  But her hands threaded through the hair at the back of my head and stopped me in place as she murmured, “Get back here, Mulder,” before drawing me down to her again. 

 

I let all of my restraint go, showing her just how much I’d missed her in one mad, uncontrolled kiss.  I didn’t touch her anywhere else, though I did have one arm around her waist holding her tightly to me while the other was buried in the thick hair at the back of her skull.  I grew hard very shortly, but did my best to ignore it since I wasn’t sure how far she was willing to go. 

 

When we finally had to break to catch our breath I kissed along her jaw to her ear, sucking on the lobe and then lipping my way down her neck.  Scully let her head fall back into my hand, moaning softly beneath her breath.  “God I missed you so much,” I muttered hoarsely into her skin, my lips brushing against its satin softness as I lifted my hand between her shoulder blades to steady her as I leaned her back.  “I need you like my next breath.”

 

“I’ve never forgotten how good you feel, but I’m remembering it all over again,” she breathed, turning her face away so I could caress the side of her neck with my lips and tongue. I knew her neck was a huge erogenous area and worked it like I never had before.  She moaned softly, pressing her hips against my erection.  “I love that you know just how and where to touch me.”

 

“That's what I never have, and never will, forget,” I said between kisses.  “Your body is the temple I worship at.”

 

Her strong hands were clutching my upper arms; I could feel the press of her nails even through my sweater.  “God, Mulder, I’m going to fall if we don’t sit down.”

 

Fuck!  I suddenly remembered where we were.  Great, halfway down the driveway and in full view of the road.  I’d toss her down in the grass and do her right here and now, but I already knew she wouldn’t as I had tried before.  I was afraid she’d change her mind if we stopped and she cooled down, but I had to risk it.  “Come upstairs with me, Scully?” I said huskily, lifting my head and steadying her as she stood upright. 

 

She arched one reddish brow at me.  “Did you get the AC fixed yet?”

 

I almost smacked my forehead with one hand.  “Uh, no.”

 

“Then let’s go to my place.  Grab an overnight bag and I’ll meet you there.”

 

I cupped her face and went in for one more kiss, feeling her arms twine around my shoulders as it went on.  I poured everything I felt for her into that kiss as well, but making it slower and more heartfelt.  I caressed her lips with mine, rubbed my tongue along her teeth, then swirled mine gently but firmly around hers.

 

She broke the kiss this time, panting up into my face.  “God, Mulder, what you do to me.”

 

I gazed down at her, hiding nothing.  “Don’t I know it.  It’s the same thing you do to me.”

 

*          *          *

 

I didn’t think I’d ever been so aroused in my life.  It was difficult to wait, but would be worth it to have clean sheets and air conditioning in my suite.  Though we hadn’t made love in over a year I knew that with Mulder I would get sweaty and exhausted—he never gave, or let me give, less than our best—and I was far too familiar with how stuffy that old farmhouse got in the summer.  One of the reasons we’d bought it was because it had central air, but what we hadn’t known was that it had been installed in 1980 and not updated since.

 

It was only a half hour drive to my hotel, but seemed like forever.  Finally, I knew the waiting was over, just like the first time I’d crawled into his bed.  Whatever had been holding me back since our talk in the hot tub was gone.  While I wasn’t prepared to move back in with him, I was more than ready to resume our sexual relationship.  I could only hope that he didn’t insist on both.

 

As I drove, I thought of how sweet and attentive Mulder had been these last weeks.  Especially during our weekend away.  Though I had been braced for him to try something, he’d been a perfect gentleman.  I had at first been relieved, then ended up disgruntled by it, and finally annoyed at myself.  My mixed emotions were baffling to me, but then nothing in my life had been normal or easy since I met Mulder.

 

I couldn’t help but remember how my aunts and female cousins had discussed him at the wake when they hadn’t known I could overhear them.  It helped me to see him in a new light, or a renewed one as the case may be.  Not only had they talked about how handsome and fit he was, but also how he looked at and treated me.  But when I saw him coming I dragged him off the other way, not wanting him to hear it as well.  That was a fire that didn’t need any more fuel until I was ready to handle it.

 

Once in my suite I left the door unlocked and went into the bedroom to undress.  There had never been any pretense between us, and there wouldn’t be now.  He was coming over for one reason and one reason only.  I was just pulling on my silk robe when I heard the door open and poked my head out of the bedroom to see him closing it behind himself and putting the security lock on.

 

“What took you so long?” I teased as I stepped into the doorway, not bothering to close or belt my robe.  As expected, his eyes went right where I wanted them when he turned around.  “I almost started without you.”  I made sure he knew I hadn’t changed my mind, because I knew him that well.  I was sure he’d been afraid of just that on the drive here.

 

“As long as you didn’t wrap things up before I got here,” he said huskily as he crossed the room to me in three long strides.  With no further ado, or removing any clothing, he gathered me into his arms and kissed me breathless.  I could feel how much he loved and desired and missed me in every kiss we’d shared today, and hoped he could tell that I felt the same way.  He had me pressed up against the bedroom doorway with his big body and I was vaguely aware that it was digging into my back, but was far too distracted by the feel and taste of him. His hands were in my hair and mine were clutching his back and I had no thoughts except what he made me feel.

 

I was so lost in him that when he broke the kiss I whimpered and tried to recapture his mouth.  But he moved me away from the doorway with hands spanning my waist, and sat me on the edge of the bed.  I was ready for him to jump on but he, of course, had other ideas.

 

Without a word, he pushed my robe off my shoulders and knelt in front of me, cupping my breasts and dipping his head to them.  I bit back cries as he sucked and nibbled and caressed them, holding my breasts and squeezing them gently as he worked my nipples with his mouth.  I clutched his shoulders, feeling bolts of excitement fire through me, racing from my breasts to my vagina and clit.   I was already so wet I could feel the moisture on my inner thighs, and had a vague passing thought that I may have ruined the silk robe.  Not that I cared at the moment.

 

His mouth still sucking on my left nipple, his hands left my breasts and traveled down to work their way beneath my rear end.  I looked down to see his face with a blissful expression, eyes closed, the big vein in his forehead throbbing.  He was making muted “mmmm” noises deep in his throat, which caused additional tremors of arousal to jolt through me. 

 

I shifted so he could get his hands beneath me and he let go of my nipple, which tingled in the cooler air of the room.  “God, Mulder, I want you inside me,” I groaned, tugging at his shoulders.  “Now.”

 

“Not done with you yet,” he rumbled, kissing down my sternum, tugging me closer to the edge of the bed.  “Not by a long shot.”

 

I gasped, raking my fingernails lightly over his tanned skin as I realized what he was about to do.  I loved it when he went down on me, but there was no time for that right now as far as I was concerned.  “I want you, I need you, don’t torture me;  I don’t need it, Mulder.”

 

“But I do, Scully,” he said, looking up at me.  His eyes were dark coals glowing with passion, his face suffused with desire.  “I need to taste you, make you go crazy with how I feel about you.”

 

“I already am,“ I breathed, but knew I had lost as he dipped his head and continued to kiss down my belly.  It was not, however, a problem.

 

He sat down on the floor and whipped his shirt off.  His head was even with my hips, and he only had to bend down a bit to cover my vulva with his mouth.  I braced my hands behind me and leaned back, gasping out moans as he licked and sucked all around my opening.  Just seeing his dark head between my legs almost got me off.  “God are you wet Scully, you taste so good,” he rasped, then went back to it.  I could only groan in response, lost in the sensations that only he had ever caused in me.

 

His big hands flexed on my ass, pulling me up to him.  I opened my legs even wider and that was when he latched onto my clit, alternately sucking on it and tonguing.  I threw my head back and cried out, not caring who might hear us. Suddenly and without warning, I exploded in one of the most intense orgasms I had ever experienced.  I came back to myself to find my legs clamped around Mulder’s head, his hands now curled around my thighs from beneath, gently and lovingly licking me from perineum to clit and back.  I quivered under his tongue, my inner walls still contracting.

 

I loosened my legs and let myself fall back on the bed with my arms thrown wide, thoroughly spent for the moment even as aftershocks shuddered through me.  “Jesus, Mulder, sorry,” I gasped as his mouth finally left me.  “Guess I needed that.”

 

“Good to know,” he murmured, gently moving my legs so they hung off the edge of the bed, his warmth disappearing from my skin.  “Hey, Scully?”

 

“What, Mulder?”  I felt the bed dip and opened eyes I hadn’t realized I’d closed to find him sitting down next to me, now equally as naked, twisted at the waist to look back at me.  When had he taken the rest of his clothes off? 

 

“I want you so badly right now that I’m barely hanging onto sanity.”

 

I started to push back on the bed using my elbows and feet, letting the robe beneath me slither to the floor.  “Then get that hot ass of yours over here.”

 

“You know what I’d like?” He reached over and stopped my movement by loosely circling my smooth calf with his big, warm hand.  “I’d like you to come over here and climb in my lap. I want to look at you while we make love.”

 

My insides quivered with the sudden return of desire and longing despite the powerful orgasm.  Mulder was the only man who had ever affected me like this.  I knew what he meant; variations of this position were our favorite. 

 

I moved off the bed and, on shaky legs, stepped over to stand in front of him.  He circled my waist with his warm hands, and I put one hand on the side of his careworn face and the other on his forearm.  Though my breasts were even with his face, he met my eyes, his serious but deeply aroused.  Though I didn’t look further down, I was well aware of his huge erection pointing up at me from between his muscular legs and felt even more moisture coat the insides of my thighs at the thought.  “Scully… I’ve never stopped loving you, you know.”

 

“I do.”  I remembered his impassioned declaration outside the house after our first case together, just before the X-Files were reopened.  “And I could never stop loving you, Mulder.  Not even after we’re both star stuff.”

 

His loving grin lit my soul and I smiled down at him in return.  He drew me close, laying his head between my breasts and wrapping his arms around me.  His jaw wasn’t prickly, which told me he’d taken a moment to shave before leaving his house, which I appreciated.   I cradled his head, running my fingers through his thick, soft hair as I laid my cheek on top of it.  Both of our bodies were thrumming with desire, but I treasured and relished this moment as emotion swelled in me.  Though I had missed the physical aspect of our sex life, this was even more precious and valuable to me.  The emotional and spiritual connection between us was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, and knew that I never would again.  I was grateful that we hadn’t lost it in the last year while apart.

 

His hot, heavy cock nudged at my thighs and I spread them slightly, unintentionally pushing my hips against him.  Without a word, he loosened his arms and scooted back on the bed so that just his lower legs were hanging off, feet on the floor.   I followed, putting my knees on either side of his hips as his hand cupped and supported my rear.  Our eyes were locked, watching the other’s reactions.  It was one of the most intimate and extraordinary moments we had ever shared.

 

I lifted up then lowered down on his cock, both of us moaning and gasping when contact was made, still gazing into each other’s eyes.  It had been long enough for me that even though I was dripping wet, I couldn’t take him all the way in with one stroke and so he helped lift and then slid me down bit by bit.  Mulder had certainly been blessed in that area, not that I was complaining.  I finally threw my head back, eyes closed, and concentrated on the phenomenal pleasure of him entering me after so long.  He began kissing and sucking on my neck, and the surge of excitement that shot through me caused my body to relax and I suddenly took him in all the way.  I sank down to rest on his thighs with a cry of completion as he filled me. 

 

He groaned deeply and thrust upward, capturing my mouth in a long, blazing kiss.  Our lips sealed together, then we gasped for breath, breaking the lip-lock, and our tongues met in the space between them.  He helped lift me with one hand beneath me, the other wrapped around my waist and holding me close so that our damp bodies slid together with each stroke.  My nipples scraped through the hair on his chest and jolts of lust shot through me.

 

I never felt so alive as I did in his arms.  It was like I could feel every inch of my skin tingling where we touched, both inside and out.  The delicious scraping of his cock against my wet inner walls was incredible, and for the first time in what seemed like forever I was complete with him inside and all around me.  I began to lose control and tried to speed up my strokes. 

 

“Slowly, Scully, savor this,” he rasped against my lips, then captured them in another deep kiss.  With the iron-muscled arm around my waist Mulder held me back to long, aching slides up, and then slowly lowering my body to fill me again.  It seemed to go on forever and I almost couldn’t bear the delicious torture as I rose and fell on him. 

 

I didn’t know how he was keeping control, though Mulder always had great stamina.  Upon occasion we’d let ourselves go and have a quickie, but I knew it was a point of pride with him to last as long as possible.  Now, however, I was feeling wild and reckless and not at all in the mood for savoring or taking it slow any longer.

 

And I knew how to break his control.

 

I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed back until Mulder loosened his grip a little, then slid my hands in between us over his chest, and rubbed my thumbs on his tiny, hard nipples.  Mulder gasped, body jerking, then moved both hands to my hips and began to lift and slam me down on him.  I let out a cry and by the third stroke exploded yet again, this position being one of the easiest for me to orgasm in without any assistance as my clit rubbed hard against his pubic bone.

 

I was lost in the pulsing pleasure as I felt him slam me down on him one more time, then he cried my name and his shout of ecstasy rang in my ears.  He held me firmly against him, our bodies once again pressed together with our arms around each other.  I felt myself pulsing inside and moaned softly, kissing the side of his neck.  We stayed that way for some time, then I leaned back and took his face in my hands and kissed him long and lovingly.  I caressed his lips with mine, showing him how much I adored and desired and needed him.

 

No matter where we were or what we were doing, I was home as long as I was with Mulder.  And I would never forget that again.

 

*          *          *

 

After she kissed me, I captured her face between my hands before she could move away.  Her eyes changed from soft and liquid to concerned, so I smiled a little and her expression eased.  “Thank you.” I said simply, watching as her expression went to bemused.  “For giving me another chance, for loving me the way you do,” I clarified.  “For putting up with me all these years and never, ever giving up on us.”

 

Her eyes shone, tears pooling in her lower lids but not falling as she moved her hands to rest on my shoulders.  I felt my own prickling in response.  “I did, I did give up on us,” she said, her lower lip quivering ever so slightly.  “How can you ever forgive me for that?”

 

“You were disillusioned with me, and with good reason,” I said, reaching up with my thumb to swipe beneath her eye as a tiny bit of moisture escaped.  “I gave you no reason to think that we could ever be together again, and now I understand why.  But you didn’t totally give up on me, Scully, you never do.  And that’s one of the many things I truly love about you, and have since the moment we met.”

 

“I love you no matter what, Mulder, and now I know I always will.  If there is such a thing as soulmates, then that’s what we are.”  Her eyes were steady on mine even as the tears finally overflowed.  “I will never, ever leave you again, no matter what.”

 

“Nor I.”  I leaned forward and she met me halfway and this kiss was unlike any of the other thousands, maybe millions, that we had shared over the years, from our first, gently friendly New Year’s Eve kiss to the crazed passionate ones of the last few minutes.  This one was a seal, a confirmation of everything we were to each other and would always be. 

 

No matter where we were or what we were doing, I was home as long as I was with Scully.  And I would never forget that again.

 

**Epilogue**

Mulder sat in the X-Files office behind their desk waiting for Scully to arrive at work.  She had mentioned an appointment in the morning, and it was almost noon so she was due any moment.  He’d gotten her a nameplate both on the door and for the desk as a surprise, and couldn’t wait to see her reaction.

 

He had blown off the meeting with Tad O’Malley for Friday morning and instead they’d spent an incredible weekend together in Scully’s hotel suite, spending Sunday afternoon looking at housing listings in the greater DC area.  He understood without having to be told that she could never live in that house again after all that had transpired there; they needed a fresh start.  He refused to live in a hotel no matter how nice the suite, so they’d agreed to look for a new place together.

 

What was both amusing and incongruous was that the first condo they were going to look at was halfway between where their old apartments were.

 

He heard the click of her heels on the cement floor and smiled, looking up expectantly.  When she appeared, he was first surprised and then delighted, and was sure his face showed it from the response on hers. 

 

Her hair, which yesterday had been strawberry blonde and styled in careful loose curls, was now the same, deeper red as before they had broken up, the thick waves gone and, instead, hanging loosely around her lovely face.  He could almost believe that they’d gone back years in time to when they had been living together contentedly.

 

He saw her eyes move to the door, then the desk, where her brand-spanking-new nameplates shone under the glow of the overhead lights. She looked back at him and smiled, and his grin in return said all that was needed.

 

Their struggle was over.

 

_finis_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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